Ha wish ye a merry Chresamas, An a happy new year, A pantry full a' good rost beef, An a barril full a' beer. |
Now Christmas is come, and now Pappy's come home, Wi' a pegtop for Tammie, a hussif for Sue; A new bag o' marbles for Dick; and for Joan, A workbox; for Phoebe a bow for her shoe; For Cecily singing a humming-top comes, For dull drowsie Marie a sleeping-top meet; For Ben, Ned, and Harry, a fife and two drums, For Jennie a box of nice sugar-plums sweet. |
For in this room we wish for to resort, Resort, and to repeat to you our merry rhyme, For remember, good sirs, this is Christmas time! The time to cut up goose-pies now doth appear, So we are come to act our merry Christmas here; At the sound of the trumpet and beat of the drum, Make room, brave gentlemen, and let our actors come! We are the merry actors that traverse the street, We are the merry actors that fight for our meat; We are the merry actors that show pleasant play. Step in, St. George, thou champion, and clear the way. My famous name throughout the world hath rung; Many bloody deeds and wonders have I made known, And made the tyrants tremble on their throne. I followed a fair lady to a giant's gate, Confined in dungeon deep to meet her fate; Then I resolved, with true knight-errantry, To burst the door, and set the prisoner free; When a giant almost struck me dead, But by my valour I cut off his head. I've searched the world all round and round, But a man to equal me I never found. |
With sword and buckler by my side I hope to win the game; And for to fight with me I see thou art not able, So with my trusty broad-sword I soon will thee disable! St. George. Disable! disable! it lies not in thy power, For with my glittering sword and spear I soon will thee devour. Stand off, Slasher! let no more be said, For if I draw my sword, I'm sure to break thy head! Slasher. How can'st thou break my head? Since it is made of iron, And my body's made of steel; My hands and feet of knuckle-bone: I challenge thee to field. [They fight, and Slasher is wounded. Exit St. George. What must I do to raise him up again? Here he lies in the presence of you all, I'll lovingly for a doctor call! (Aloud.) A doctor! a doctor! ten pounds for a doctor! I'll go and fetch a doctor. [Going.
Fool. Are you the doctor? Doctor. Yes, that you may plainly see, By my art and activity. Fool. Well, what's your fee to cure this man? Doctor. Ten pounds is my fee; but Jack, if thou be an honest man, I'll only take five of thee. Fool. You'll be wondrous cunning if you get any (Aside.) Well how far have you travelled in doctrineship? Doctor. From Italy, Titaly, High Germany, France, and Spain, And now am returned to cure the diseases in old England again. Fool. So far, and no further? Doctor. O yes! a great deal further. Fool. How far? Doctor. From the fireside cupboard, upstairs and into bed. |
Fool. What diseases can you cure? Doctor. All sorts. Fool. What's all sorts? Doctor. The itch, the pitch, the palsy, and the gout. If a man gets nineteen devils in his skull, I'll cast twenty of them out. I have in my pockets crutches for lame ducks, spectacles for blind humble-bees, pack-saddles and panniers for grasshoppers, and plaisters for broken-backed mice. I cured Sir Harry of a nang-nail, almost fifty-five yards long; surely I can cure this poor man. Here, Jack, take a little out of my bottle, And let it run down thy throttle; If thou be not quite slain, Rise, Jack, and fight again. [Slasher rises. Slasher. Oh, my back! Fool. What's amiss with thy back? Slasher. My back it is wounded, And my heart is confounded, To be struck out of seven senses into four score; The like was never seen in Old England before.
That summons us from off this bloody ground; Down yonder is the way (pointing). Farewell, St. George, we can no longer stay. [Exeunt Slasher, Doctor, and Fool.
St. George. I am St. George, that noble champion bold,And with my trusty sword I won ten thousand pounds in gold; 'Twas I that fought the fiery dragon,and brought him to the slaughter, And by those means I won the King of Egypt's daughter.
Soon I will fetch St. George's lofty courage down. Before St. George shall be received by me, St. George shall die to all eternity ! |
St. George. Stand off, thou black Morocco dog, Or by my sword, thou'lt die; I'll pierce thy body full of holes, And make thy buttons fly. Prince. Draw out thy sword and slay, Pull out thy purse and pay; For I will have a recompense Before I go away. St. George. Now, Prince of Paradine, where have you been? And what fine sights, pray, have you seen? Dost think that no man of thy age Dares such a black as thee engage? Lay down thy sword; take up to me a spear, And then I'll fight thee without dread or fear. [They fight, and Prince of Paradine is slain.
St. George. Now Prince of Paradine is dead,And all his joys entirely fled; Take him, and give him to the flies, And never more come near mine eyes.
I'm come to seek my son, my son, and only heir. St. George. He is slain. King. Who did him slay, who did him kill, And on the ground his precious blood did spill? St. George. I did him slay, I did him kill, And on the ground his precious blood did spill! Please you, my liege, my honour to maintain, Had you been there, you might have fared the same. King. Cursed Christian ! what is this thou'st done ? Thou hast ruined me, and slain my only son. St. George. He gave me a challenge, why should I it deny? How high he was, but see how low he lies! King. O Hector! Hector! help me with speed, For in my life I never stood more need!
But rise and fight at my command! Hector. Yes, yes, my liege, I will obey, And by my sword I hope to win the day; |
If that be he who doth stand there, That slew my master's son and heir; If he be sprung from royal blood, I'll make it run like Noah's flood! St. George. Hold, Hector! do not be so hot, For here thou knowest not who thou'st got, For I can tame thee of thy pride, And lay thine anger, too, aside; Inch thee, and cut thee as small as flies, And send thee over the sea to make mince-pies; Mince-pies hot, and mince-pies cold, I'll send thee to Black Sam before thou'rt three days old. Hector. How canst thou tame me of my pride, And lay mine anger, too, aside? Inch me, and cut me as small as flies, Send me over the sea to make mince-pies? Mince-pies hot, mince-pies cold; How canst thou send me to Black Sam before I'm three days old? Since my head is made of iron, My body's made of steel, My hands and feet of knuckle-bone, I challenge thee to field. [They fight, and Hector is wounded.
I am a valiant knight, and Hector is my name,Many bloody battles have I fought, and always won the same; But from St. George I received this bloody wound. (A trumpet sounds.)
Hark, hark! I hear the silver trumpet sound,Down yonder is the way (Pointing). Farewell, St. George, I can no longer stay. [Exit.
Fool. Why, master, did ever I take you to be my friend? St. George. Why, Jack, did ever I do thee any harm? Fool. Thou proud saucy coxcomb, begone! St. George. A coxcomb! I defy that name! With a sword thou ought to be stabbed for the same. Fool. To be stabbed is the least I fear! Appoint your time and place, I'll meet you there. St. George. I'll cross the water at the hour of five, And meet you there, sir, if I be alive. [Exit. |
And over my shoulders I carry my club; And in my hand a dripping-pan, And I think myself a jolly old man; And if you don't believe what I say, Enter in, Devil Doubt, and clear the way.
If you do not give me money, I'll sweep you all out: Money I want, and money I crave; If you do not give me money I'll sweep you all to the grave. |
God bless the master of this house, The mistress also, And all the little children That round the table go; And all your kin and kinsmen, That dwell both far and near; I wish you a merry Christmas, And a happy new year. |
Wassal, wassal, to our town! The cup is white and the ale is brown; The cup is made of the ashen tree, And so is the ale of the good barley; Little maid, little maid, turn the pin, Open the door and let us come in; God be here, God be there. I wish you all a happy new year! |
Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's green, When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen: Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? 'Twas mine own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so.
Call up your men, dilly dilly, set them to work,
If you should die, dilly dilly, as it may hap, |
Catharine and Clement, be here, be here, Some of your apples, and some of your beer: Some for Peter, and some for Paul, And some for Him that made us all: Clement was a good man, For his sake give us some, Not of the worst, but some of the best, And God will send your soul to rest. |
Good morrow to you, Valentine! Curl your locks as I do mine; Two before and three behind; Good morrow to you, Valentine! |
Good morrow, Valentine! I be thine and thou be'st mine, So please give me a Valentine! |
Good morrow, Valentine, God bless you ever! If you'll be true to me, I'll be the like to thee; Old England for ever! |
Peep, fool, peep, What do you think to see? Every one has a valentine, And here's one for thee! |
The rose is red, The violet's blue, Pinks are sweet, And so are you! |
Good morrow, friends: St. Valentine is past; Begin these wood-birds but to couple now? |
Saint Valentine, of custom year by year Men have an usance in this region To look and search Cupid's calendere, And choose their choice by great affection: Such as be prick'd with Cupid's motion, Taking their choice as their lot doth fall: But I love one which excelleth all. |
Gay alludes to another popular notion referring to the same day:
Last Valentine, the day when birds of kind Their paramours with mutual chirpings find, I early rose, just at the break of day, Before the sun had chas'd the stars away; Afield I went, amid the burning dew, To milk my kine, for so should housewives do. Thee first I spied; and the first swain we see, In spite of fortune shall our true love be. |
She must no more a-maying; Or by rose-buds divine Who'll be her valentine. |
Sweet guardian angels, let me have What I most earnestly do crave, A valentine endow'd with love, That will both kind and constant prove. |
/ p.242 /
We believe the old custom of drawing lots on this eventful day is obsolete, and has given place to the favorite practice of sending pictures, with poetical legends, to objects of love or ridicule. The lower classes, however, seldom treat the matter with levity, and many are the offers of marriage thus made. The clerks at the post-offices are to be pitied, the immense increase of letters beyond the usual average adding very inconveniently to their labours.
"This iz Volantine day, mind, an be wot ah can see theal be a good deal a hanksiaty a mind sturrin amang't owd maids an't batchillors; luv sickness al be war than ivver wor nawn, espeshly amang them ats gettin raither owdish like; but all al end weel, so doant be daan abaght it. Ah recaleckt, when ah wor a yung man, ah went tut poast-office an bowt hauf a peck a volantines for tuppance, an when ah look't em ovver, thear wor wun dereckted for mesen, an this wor wot thear wor it inside:
Paper's scarce, and luv iz dear, So av sent ye a bit a my pig-ear; And if t'same bit case we yo, my dear, Pray send me a bit of yor pig-ear. |
Stand fast, root; bear well, top; God wend us a youling sop! E'ry twig, apple big; E'ry bough, apple enow. Hats full, caps full, Full quarter sacks full. |
For this incantation the confused rabble expect a gratuity in money, or drink, which is no less welcome; but if they are disappointed in both, they, with great solemnity, anathematize the owners and trees with altogether as insignificant a curse.
"It seems highly probable," says Hasted, in his History of Kent, "that this custom has arisen from the ancient one of perambulation among the heathens, when they made their prayers to the gods, for the use and blessing of the fruits coming up, with thanksgiving for those of the preceding year; and as the heathens supplicated Eolus, the god of the winds, for his favorable blasts, so in this custom they still retain his name, with a very small variation, the ceremony being called yeuling; and the word is often used in their invocations."
We go from Bickbury and Badger to Stoke on the Clee, To Monkhopton, Round Acton, and so return we. |
Here's two or three jolly boys all o' one mind, We've come a pace-egging, and hope you'll be kind; I hope you'll be kind with your eggs and your beer, And we'll come no more pace-egging until the next year. |
The first that comes in is old Toss-pot you see, A valiant old blade for his age and degree; He is a brave fellow on hill or in dale, And all he delights in is a-drinking of ale. |
Toss-pot then pretends to take a long draught from a huge quart-pot, and, reeling about, tries to create laughter by tumbling over as many boys as he can. A miser next enters, who is generally a boy dressed up as an old woman in tattered rags, with his face blackened. He is thus introduced by the captain:
An old miser's the next that comes in with her bags, And to save up her money, wears nothing but rags.
Chorus. Whatever you give us we claim for our right, |
Now, ye ladies and gentlemen, who sit by the fire, Put your hands in your pockets, 'tis all we desire; Put your hands in your pockets, and lug out your purse, We shall be the better, you'll be none the worse! |
Tid, Mid, Misera, Carl, Paum, good Pase-day" Kennett, MS. Lansd. 1033.
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Collop Monday, Pancake Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Bludee Thursday, Friday's lang, but will be dune, And hey for Saturday afternune! |
Pit-a-pat, the pan is hot, We are come a-shroving; A little bit of bread and cheese Is better than nothing. The pan is hot, the pan is cold; Is the fat in the pan nine days old? |
A Shrovun, a Shrovun, I be cum a Shrovun, A piece a bread, a piece a cheese, A bit a your fat beyacun, Or a dish of doughnuts, Aal of your own mayacun!
A Shrovun, a Shrovun,
Chorus. A Shrovun, A Shrovun, |
--------------------------- * Composed of flour and lard, with plums in the middle, and made into round substances about the size of a cricket-ball. They were called nuts or dough-nuts, and quite peculiar to the Isle of Wight. ---------------------------
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A Shrovun, a Shrovun, I be cum a Shrovun, Linen stuff es good enuff, Vor we that cums a Shrovun. |
Vine veathers in a pie, My mouth is verrey dry. I wish a wuz zoo well a-wet, Then I'd zing louder vor a nut! Dame,* dame, a igg, a igg,† Or a piece a beyacun. Dro awaay‡ the porridge pot, Or crock to bwile the pecazun. Vine veathers in a pie, My mouth is verrey dry. I wish a wuz zoo well a-wet, Then I'd zing louder vor a nut!
Chorus. A Shrovun, A Shrovun, |
--------------------------- * Dame. The mistress of the house, if past the middle age, was called Dame, i.e. Madame. † An egg an egg ‡ Throw away. ---------------------------
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A seyal, a seyal in our town, The cup es white and the eal es brown; The cup es meyad from the ashen tree, And the eal es brew'd vrom the good barlie. | ||
Chorus. |
Cake and eal, cake and eal, A piece of cake and a cup of eal; We zing merrily one and aal For a piece of cake and a cup of eal. | |
Little maid, little maid, troll the pin,* Lift up the latch and we'll aal vall in;† Ghee us a cake and zum eal that es brown, And we dont keer a vig vor the seyal in the town. | ||
Chorus. |
W'ill zing merrily one and aal Vor a cake and a cup of eal; God be there and God be here, We wish you aal a happy New Year. |
--------------------------- * That is, turn the pin inside the door in order to raise the latch. In the old method of latching doors, there was a pin inside which was turned round to raise the latch. An old Isle of Wight song says,—
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Love, to thee I send these gloves, If you love me, Leave out the G, And make a pair of loves! |
Good morrow, Valentine, I go to-day, To wear for you what you must pay, A pair of gloves next Easter-day. |
The rose is red, the violet's blue, The gilly-flower sweet, and so are you; These are the words you bade me say For a pair of new gloves on Easter-day. |
I see by the latch There is something to catch; I see by the string The good dame's within; Give a cake, for I've none; At the door goes a stone. Come give, and I'm gone. |
Care Sunday, care away, Palm Sunday and Easter-day. |
Tid, Mid, Misera, Carling, Palm, Paste-egg day. |
Fool, fool, April fool, You learn nought by going to school! |
April-fool time's past and gone, You're the fool, and I'm none! |
Rise up, fair maidens, fie, for shame, For I've been four lang miles from hame; I've been gathering my garlands gay; Rise up, fair maids, and take in your May. |
Good morning, missus and measter, I wish you a happy day; Please to smell my garland, 'Cause it is the first of May. |
Here's a health unto our maister, The founder of the feast, And I hope to God wi' all my heart, His soul in heaven mid rest.
That everything mid prosper |
Harvest home, harvest home, Ne'er a load's been overthrown. |
Here's a health to the barley mow, Here's a health to the man, Who very well can Both harrow, and plough, and sow. |
When it is well sown, See it is well mown, Both raked and gravell'd clean, And a barn to lay it in: Here's a health to the man, Who very well can Both thrash and fan it clean. |
"God have your saul, Beens and all." |
The fifth of November, Since I can remember, Gunpowder treason and plot: This was the day the plot was contriv'd, To blow up the King and Parliament alive; But God's mercy did prevent To save our King and his Parliament. A stick and a stake For King James's sake! If you won't give me one, I'll take two, The better for me, And the worse for you! |
This is the Oxfordshire song chanted by the boys when collecting sticks for the bonfire, and it is considered quite lawful to appropriate any old wood they can lay their hands on after the recitation of these lines. If it happen that a crusty chuff prevents them, the threatening finale is too often fulfilled. The operation is called going a progging, but whether this is a mere corruption of prigging, or whether progging means collecting sticks (brog, Scot. Bor.), I am unable to decide. In some places they shout, previously to the burning of the effigy of Guy Fawkes—
A penn'orth of bread to feed the Pope, A penn'orth of cheese to choke him; A pint of beer to wash it down, And a good old faggot to burn him. |
—— laws for all faults, But faults so countenanc'd, that the strong statutes Stand like the forfeits in a barber's shop, As much in mock as mark. |
--------------------------- * Review of Johnson's Shakespeare, 1765, p. 42. ---------------------------
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And when arrived, keep your state; For he who from these rules shall swerve, Must pay the forfeits—so observe.
Who enters here with boots and spurs,
Who rudely takes another's turn,
Who reverentless shall swear or curse,
Who checks the barber in his tale,
Who will or cannot miss his hat |
And he who can or will not pay, Shall hence be sent half-trimm'd away, For will he nill he, if in fault He forfeit must in meal or malt, But mark, who is alreads in drink, The cannikin must never clink! |
My granny is sick, and now is dead,* And we'll go mould some cockle-bread; Up with my heels and down with my head, And this is the way to mould cockle-bread. |
--------------------------- * Another version says, "and I wish she was dead, that I may go mould," &c., which, if correct, may be supposed to mean, "My granny is ill, and I wish she was dead, that I may use a charm for obtaining a husband." ---------------------------
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Cockeldy bread, mistley cake, When you do that for our sake. |
/ p.257 /
A pie sat on a pear tree, A pie sat on a pear tree, A pie sat on a pear tree, Heigh ho! heigh ho! heigh ho! |
When a boy finds anything, and another sees him stoop for it, if the latter cries halves before he has picked it up, he is, by schoolboy law, entitled to half of it. This right may, however, be negatived, if the finger cries out first—
Ricket, racket, find it, tack it, And niver give it to the aunder. |
No halfers, Findee, keepee; Lossee, seekee. |
Those that go my way, butter and eggs, Those that go your way chop off their legs. |