/ p.19 /

      Wherfor on a time as I was itting by the fire with certin of the houe, I told them what a noie, and what a wawling the cats had made there the night before, from ten o'clock till one, o that neither I could leep nor tudy for them, and by meens of this introduction we fel in converation of cats, and ome affirming as I do now (but I was againt it then) that they had undertanding, for confirmations therof one of the ervants told this tory.
      “ There was in my country,” quod he, (the felow was borne in Staffordhire,) “ that had a young cat wich he had brought up of a belling, and would nightly dally and play with it, and on a time as he rode through Kank wood, about certain buines, a cat (as he thought) leaped out of a buh before him and called him twice or thrice by his name, but becaue he made no anwer nor peak (for he was o afeard that he could not,) he pake to him plainly twie or thrie thee words following,—‘ Commend me to Titten Tatten and to pus thy cattan, and / p.20 / tell her that Grimalikin is dead.’ This done he went her way, and the man went forward about his buines. And after that he was returned home, in an evening itting by the fire with his wife and his houehold, he told of his adventure in the wood ; and when he had told them all the cats meage, his cat, which had hearkened unto the tale, looked upon him adly, and at lat aid, ‘ And is Grimalkin dead ? then farewell dame !’ and therwith went her way and was never een after.” When this tale was done, another of the company which had been in Ireland aked this fellow when this thing which he had told happened ? He anwered that he could not tell well, howbeit, as he conjectured, not paing eleven years, for his mother knew both the man and the woman which caught the cat that the meage was unto. “ Sure,” quoth the other, “ it may well be, for about that ame time (as I heard) a like thing happened in Ireland, where (if I conjecture not amis) Grimalkin (of whom you peak) was lain.” “ Yes, ir,” quod I, “ I pray you how o ?” / p.21 / “ I will tell you, Maiter Streamer,” quod he, “ that which was told me in Ireland, and which I have (till now) little credited that I was ahamed to report it, but hearing that I hear now, and calling to mind my own experience when it was (I do o little midoubt it), that I think I never told, nor you heard, ever a more likely tale.
      “ While I was in Ireland in the time that Macmorro and all the ret of the wild lords were the kings enemies, what time mortal wane was between the Fitzhonies and the Prior and Covent of the Abbey of Tintern, who counted them the kings frinds and ubjects, whoe neighbour was Cayn Macort, a wilde Irih man, than the kings enemy, and one which daily made inrodes into the county of Wahford, and burned uch towns and carried away all uch cattell as he might come by, by means wherof all the country from Climin to Roe, become a wate wildernes, and is carce recovered untill this day. In this time, I ay, as I was on a night at Cobery with one of Fitzburies / p.22 / churles, we fell in talk, as we have done now, of trange adventures, and of cats ; and there, among other things, the churl (for o they call all farmers and huband men) told me as ye hall hear.
      “ There was (not even years pat) a kern of John Butlers dwelling in the faock of Bantry, called Patrick Apore, who minding to make a prey in the night upon Cager Makent, his maiters enemy, got him with his boy, for o they call their hore keepers, be they ever o old knaves, into his country, and in the night time entered into a town of two houes, and broke in and lew the people, and then took uch cattle as they found, which was a cow and a heep, and departed therwith homewards ; but doubting they hould be purued, the cur dogs making uch a hrill barking, he got into a church, thinking to lurk their till midnight was pat, for there he was ure that no one would upect or eek him, for the wild Irih men have had churches in uch reverence (till our men taught them the contrary) that they neyther would, nor durt / p.23 / either rob aught thence or hurt any man that took the church yard for anctuary, no though he had killed his father. And while the kern was in the church, he thought it bet to dine, for he had eaten little that day, wherfore he made his boy go gather ticks, and trake fire with his feres, and make a fire in the church, and kild the heep, and after the Irih fahion, layed it there upon and roated it ; but when it was ready, and he thought to eat it, there came in a cat, and et her by him, and aid in Irih, hane foel, which is, “give me ome meat,” He, mazed at this, gave her the quarter that was in his hand, which immediately he did eat up, and aked more till he had conumed all the heep ; and, like a cormorant not atisfied therwith, aked till for more, wherfore they uppoed it were the devil, and therefore thinking it widom to pleae him, killed the cow which they had tolen, and when they had flayed it gave the cat a quarter, which he immediately devoured ; then they gave her two other quarters, and in the mean while, / p.24 / after their country fahion, they did cut a piece of the hide and prickt it upon iiii. takes which they et about the fire, and therin they et a piece of the cow for themelves, and with the ret of the hide they made each of them bags to wear about their feet, like broges, both to keep their feet from hurt all the next day, and alo to erve for meat the next night if they could get none other, by broyling them upon coals. By this time the cat had eaten three quarters and called for more, wherfore they gave her that which was a eething, and doubting let when he had eat that he would eat thee to, becaue they had no more for her, they got them out of the church, and the kern took his hore, and away he rode as fat as he could hie. When he was a mile or two from the church the moon began to hine, and his boy epied the cat upon his maters hore behind him, wher upon the kern took his dart and turning his face towards her, flung it, and truck her throw with it ; but immediately there came to her uch a ight of cats, / p.25 / that after long fight with them his boy was killed and eaten up, and he himelf (as good and as wift as his hore was) had much to do to cape. When he was come home, and had put off his harnes, which was a corlet of mail, and like a hirt, and his kull covered with gilt leather and creted with other kin, all weary and hungry he et himelf down by his wife and told her his adventure, which when a kitten which his wife kept, carce half a yere old, had heard, up he tarts, and aid, “ Hat thou killed Grimallykin ?” and therwith plunged in his face, and with her teeth took him by the throat, and ere that he could be plucked away, he had trangled him.’
      “ This the churl told me now about thirty-three winters pat ; and it was done, as he and divers other credible men informed me, not even yere before. Whereupon I gather that this grimalikin was it which the cat in Kanck wood ent news of unto the cat which we heard even now.” “ Tuh,” quod another that at by, “your conjecture is o unreaonable ; for / p.26 / to admitt that cats have reaon, and that they do, in their own language, undertand one another, yet how hould a cat in Canckwood know what is done in Ireland ?” “ How?” quod he ; “ even as we know what is done in the realms of France, Flanders, and Spain, yea, and almot in all the world beide. There be few hips but have cats belonging to them, which brings news to their fellows out of all quarters.” “ Yea,” quod the other, “ but why hould all cats love to hear of Grimmalkin ? or how hould Grimmalkin eat o much meat as you peak of? or why hould all cats o harbor to revenge her death ?” “ Nay, that paeth my cunning,” quod he, “ to hew in all. How be it in pat conjecture may be as the . . . . . may be that Grimmaalkin and her line is as much eteemed, and hath the ame dignitie among cats, as either the humble or mater bee hath among the whole hive, at whoe commandments all bees are obedient, whoe uccour and afeguard they eek, whoe wrongs they all revenge ; or, as the Pope hath had ere this over / p.27 / all Chritendom, in whoe caue all his clergy would not only cratch and bite, but kill and burn to powder, though they know not why, whom o ever they thought to think againt him ; which Pope, all things conidered, devoureth more at every meal than Grimmalkin did at her lat upper.” “ Nay,” aid I, “although the Pope, by exaccions and other bagagical trumpery, have poyled all people of mighty spoils, yet, as touching his own parts, he eatheth and weareth as little as any other man, though peradventure more umptious and cotly, and in greater abundance provided. And I heard a very proper aying, in this behalf, of King Henry the Seventh, when a ervant of his told him what abundance of meat he had een at an abbot's table, he reported him to be a great glutton, he aked if the abbot eat up all, and when he anwered no, but his guets did eat mot part : ‘Ah !’ quod the king, ‘ thou callet him glutton for his liberality for feeding thee and uch other unthankful churls.’ Like to this fellow are all ruffians ; for let honet, / p.28 / worhipful men of the City make them good cheer, or lend them money, as they commonly do, and what have they for their labour ?—either foul, reproachful names, as dunghill churls, cuckold knaves, or els piteful and landerous reports, as to be uerers and deceivers of the commonweal, and although that ome of them to be uch in deed, yet I abhor to hear others, of whom they deerve well, o lewdly to report them. But now, to return to your communication, I marvail how Grimmalkin, as you term her, if he were o big could eat o much meat at once.” “ I do not think,” quod he that told the tale, “ that he did eat all, although he aked all, but took her choice, and laid the ret by, as we ee in the feeding of many things ; for a wolf, although a coup, get more than he can eat, yet will he kill a cow or twain to his breakfat, likewie all other ravenous beats. Now that love and fellowhip, and a deire to ave their kind, is among cats, I know by experience ; for there was one that hired a friend of / p.29 / mine to roat a cat alive, and promied him for his labour twenty hillings. My friend, to be ure, caued a cooper to faten him into an hoghead, in which he turned a pit whereupon was a quick cat ; but ere he had turned a while, whether it was the cats wool that inged, or els her cry that called them, I cannot tell, but there came uch a ort of cats, that if I and other hardy men, which were well ent for our labour, had not behaved us the better, the hoghead, as fat as it was hooped, could not have kept my covin from them.”
      “ Indeed,” quod a well learned man, and one of excellent judgement, that was then in the company, “ it doth appear there is in cats, as in all other kinds of beats, a certain reaon and language, wherby they undertood one another. But, as touching this Grimmalikin, I take rather to be an hagat, or a witch, than a cat, for witches have gone often in that likenes ; and therof hath com the proverb, as true as common, that a cat hath nine / p.30 / lives, that is to ay, a witch may take on her a cats body nine times.”
      “ By my faith, Sir, this is trange,” quod I myelf, “ that a witch hould take on her a cats body. I have read that the Petonees could caue their pirits to take upon the dead mens bodies, and the airy pirits which we call demons, of which kind are Incub and Lucinbus, Robin-Goodfellow the fairy, and goblins which the miers call Telechins, could, at their pleaure, take upon them any other orts, but that a woman, being o large a body, hould train her into the body of a cat, or into the form eyther, I have not much heard of, nor cannot perceive how it may be, which makes me, I promie you, believe it the les.” “ Well, Mater Streamer,” quod he, “ I know you are not o ignorant herin as you makes yourelf, but this is your accutomed fahion always to make me believe you be not o well learned as you be, apiens enim colat cienciam, which appeared well by Socrates ; for I know being killd as you be in the tounges chiefly the called / p.31 / Arabick and Egytian, and having read o many authors therin, you mut needs be kilful in thee matters ; but when you pake of intruion of a womans body into a cats, you either play Nichoden, or the tubborn popih coiner, whereof one would creep into his maters belly again, the other would bring Chrit out of Heaven to thrut him into a peice of bread ; but as the one of them is gros and the other pervers, o in this point I mut place you with one of them, for although witches may take upon them the cats bodies, or alter the hape of their or other bodies, yet this is not done by putting their own bodies therto, but either by bringing their ouls for the time out of their bodies, and putting them in the other, or by deluding the ight and fantaies of the eers, as when I make a candle with the brain of an hore and brimtone, the light of the candle maketh all kinds of heads appear hores heads ; but yet it altereth the form of no head, but deceiveth the right conception of the eye, which, through the fale light, / p.32 / eemeth a like form.”   Then quod he that had been in Ireland, “ I cannot tell, Sir, by what means witches do change their own likenes and the hapes of other things, but I have heard of o many and een o much my elf that they do it. For in Ireland, as they have been ere this in England, witches are for fear held in high reverence ; they be o cunning that they can change the hapes of things as they lit at their pleaure, and o deceived the people therby that an Act was made in Ireland, that no man hould by any red wine. The caue therof was this,—the witches ued to end to the markets many red wine, fair and fat to ee unto as any might be, and would in that form continue long, but if it chaunced the buyer of them to bring them to any water, immediately they found them returned either into wips of hay, traw, old rotten boards, or uch like trumpery, by means wherof they lot the money or uch other cattel they gave in exchange for them. There is alo in Ireland one notion wherof ome man or / p.33 / woman are at evry even years end turned into woolf, and o continue in the woods the pace of even years ; and if they hap to live out the time, they return to their own form again, and other twain are turned for the like time into the ame hape ; which is a pennance they ay enioined by St. Patrick for ome wickednes of their ancetors. And that this is true witneed a man that I left alive in Ireland who performed this even years pennance, whoe wife was lain, while he was a wolf, in her lat yeer. This man told to many men whoe cattel he had worried, and whoe bodies he had aailed while he was a wolf, o plain and evident tokens, and howed uch cars of wounds which other men had given him, both in his mans hape before he was a wolf, and in his wolfs hape ince, which all appeared upon his kin, that it was evident to all men ; yea, and to the Bihop (upon whoe grant it was recorded and regitered) that the matter was undoubtedly pat all paralventure, and, I am ure, you are not ignorant of the hermit whom, as St. Autin / p.34 / writeth, a witch would in one aes form ride upon to market ; but now how thee witches made their wine, and how thee folks were turned from hape to hape, whether by ome ointment whoe clearnes deceived mens ights, till either the water wahed away the ointment, or els that the clearnes of the water excelled the clearnes of the ointment, and o betrayeth the operation of it, I am as uncertain as I am ure that it were the pirits called demons, forced by inchantments which move thoe bodies, till chance of their hapes dicerned caued them to . . . . . but as for the transformation of the wolves is either miraculous, as Nemans lepry in the tock of Gekin, or els to hameful crafty malicious orcery ; and as the one way is unurchable, o I think this might never be found to gues how it be done the other way. The witches are by nature exceeding malicious, and if it chance that one witch for dipleaure with this warluike nation gave her daughter charge in her death bed, when he taught her the cience, (for till that time / p.35 / witches never teach it, nor then but to their eldet or bet beloved daughter,) that he hould at every even years end confet ome ointment, which for even years pace might be in force againt all other charms to repreent to mens eyes the hape of a wolf, and in the right eaon to go herelf in the likenes of a mare, or ome other right form, and anoint therwith the bodies of ome couple of that kindred which he hated ; and that after her time he hould charge her daughter to oberve the ame, and to charge her daughter after her to do the like for ever. So that this charge is given always by traddition with the cience, and o is continued and oberved by this witches offspring ; by whom two of this kindred (as it may be uppoed), one from every even, for even years pace, turned into wolves.
      When I had heard thee tales, and that reaon of the doing hewed by the teller ; Thomas, quod I, (for that was his name, he died afterwards of a dieae which he took in Newgate, where he lay / p.36 / long for upection of magic, becaue he had deired a prioner to promie his oul after he was hanged,) I perceive now the old proverb is true, the till ow eateth up all the draff ; you go and behave yourelf o imply that a man would think you were but a ot, but you have uttered uch proof of a natural knowledge in this your brief tale as I think (except my elf and few more the bet learned alive) none could have done the like. “ You ay your pleaure, Mater Streamer,” quoth he, “as for me I have aid nothing but that I have een, and wherof any man might conjecture as I do.”
      “ You have poke full well,” quoth he that gave occaion of this tale, “ and your conjectures are right reaonable ; for like as by ointments (as you uppoe) the Irih witches do make the form of wine and wolves appear to all mens ight, o think I that by the like power, Englih witches and Irih witches may and do turn themelves into cats ; for I heard it told, while I was in the Univerity, by a cridible clerk of Oxford, how that in the days when he was a child / p.37 / an old woman was brought before the official and accued for a witch, which, in the liknes of a cat, would go into her neighbours houe and teal there what he lited, which complaint was proved true by a plea of the womans kin, which her accuers, with a fire-brand that they hurled at her had inged while he went a thieving in her cats likenes ; o that, to conclude as I began, I think that the cat which you call Grimmalkin, whoe name carryeth in it matter to confirm my conjecture, for Malkin is a womans name, witneeth the proverb, there be mo maids then Malkin. I think (I ay) that it was a witch in a cats likenes, and that for the wit and craft of her other natural cats, that were not o wie, have had her and her race in reverence among them, thinking her to be but a meer cat as they themelves were, like as we illy fools long time for his ly and crafty jugling reverenced the Pope, thinking him to have been but a man (though much holier than we our elves were), where as, indeed, he was a very incarnated devil, like as this Grimmalkin was an inchanted witch.”

/ p.38 /

      “ When then, Sir,” aid I, “ do you think the natural cats have wit, and that they undertand one another ?”
      “ What els, Maiter Streamer,” quoth he, “ there is no kind of enible creatures but have reaon and undertanding, wherby (in this kind) each undertandeth other ; and does therin in ome parts o excel that the coniderations therof moved Pythagoras (as you know) to believe and affirm that after death mens ouls went into beats, and beats ouls into men, every one according to his deert in his former body. And although his opinions be fond and fale, yet that which drew him therto is evident and true, and that is the wit and reaon of divers beats ; and again the dull, beatly, bruitih ignorance of divers men. But that beats undertand one another, and fowls likewie, beide that we ee by daily experience in . . . . . the tory of the Bihop of Alexandra by record doth prove, for he found the means either through dilligence o to marke them, or els through magic natural, o to ubtiliate / p.39 / his enible power, either by purging his brain by dry drinks and fumes, or els to augment the brains of his power perceptible by other natural medicines, that he undertood all kinds of creature by their voices ; for being on a time itting at dinner in an houe among his friends, he harkened dilligently to a parrow that came fleeing and chirping to others that were about the houe, and miled to himelf to hear her. And when one of the company deired to know why he miled, he aid at the parrows tale ; ‘ for he told them,’ quoth he, ‘ that in the highway, not a quarter of a mile hence, a ack of wheat is even now fallen off a hore-back and broken, and all the wheat run out, and therfore biddeth them come thither to dinner,’ and when the guets, muing herat, ent to prove the truth, they found it even as he had told them.”
      When this tale was ended the clock truck nine, wherupon old Thomas, becaue he had to go to his lodging, took his leave and departed ; the ret of the company gat them either to their buines or to their beds.

/ p.40 /

      And I went traight to my chamber, and took a book in my hand to have tudied, but the rememberance of this former talk o troubled me that I could think of nothing els, but mued till and, as it were, examined more narrowly what every man had poken.

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[ p.41 ]  (image of page 41)

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THE SECOND PART OF

MASTER STREAMERS ORATION.

RE I had been long in this contemplation, the cats, whoe crying the night before had been occaion of all that which I have told you, were aembled again in the leads which I poke of, where the dead mens quarters were et up, and after the ame ort as they did the night before ; one ang in one tune, an other in an other, even uch an other ervice as my Lord Chappell upon the caffold ung before the king, they oberved no muical chords, neither diateparrian, diapentic, or diapaon ; and yet, I ween I lie, for one cat, groaning as a bear doth when dogs be let lip at him, throled out o / p.42 / low and o loud a bae that, in comparion of another cat which crying like a young child queiled out the hrieking treble, it might be well accounted a double diapaon, wherfore to the intent I might ee better the caue of that aembly and by their getures to perceive part of their meaning, I went oftly and fair into a chamber into which hath a window into the ame leads, and in the dark tanding cloely, I viewed through the trellis as well as I could all their getures and behaviours, and I promie you it was a thing worth the marking, to ee what countenances, what becks, yea, and what order was among them.
      For one cat, which was a mighty big one, grey haired, brik bearded, and having broad eyes which hone and parkled like two tars, at in the midt, and on either ide of her at an other, and before her tood three more, wherof one mewed continually, ave when the great cat growned, and ever when the great cat had done, this mewing cat began again, firt tretching out her neck, as it were making / p.43 / beckes to them which at ; and oftentimes in the midt of this cats mewing all the ret would acutely each one in his turn braid forth, and incontinently huhed again, as it were laughing at omewhat which they heard the other cat declare ; and after this ort I beheld them from ten till it was twelve o clock. At this time, whether it were veel in the kitchin under, or ome boord in the printing houe hard by I cannot tell, but omewhat fell with uch a noie that all the cats got them up upon the houe ; and I fearing let any aroe to ee what was falling they would charge me with the hurling down of it if they found me there, I whipt into my chamber quickly, and finding my lamp till burning I et me down upon my bed, and devied upon the doings of thee cats, cating all manner of ways what might be conjectured, therby to know what they meant. And by and by I deemed that the gray cat, which at in the midt, was the chief, and at as judge among the ret, and that the cat which continually mewed declared ome matters or made account to her of omewhat.

/ p.44 /

      By means wherof I was traight caught with uch a deire to know what he had aid, that I could not leep at all that night, but lay deviing by what means I might learn to undertand them ; and calling to mind that I had read in Albertus Magnus works a way how to be able to undertand birds voices, I made no more to do but ought in my library for the like book, and greedily read it over ; and when I came to “ Si vis voces avium intelligere,” &c., Lord, how glad I was ; and when I had thoroughly marked the decription of the medium, and conidered with my elf the nature and power of everything therin, and how and upon what it wrought, I devied thereby how with part of thoe things and addition of others, with like virtue and operations, to make a filter to erve my purpoe, and as oon as retles Phœbus was come up out of the moking ea and with haken his golden coloured beams which were all the night long in Tethis moit boome, had dropt off his ilver weat into . . . . . lap, and kiing fair Aurora with glowing mouth, / p.45 / had driven from her the adououtee Lucifer, and was mounted o high to look upon Europe that all the height of Mile End teeple he epied me through the glas window, laying upon my bed ; up I aroe, and got me abroad to eek for uch things as might erve for the earnet buines which I went about ; and becaue you be all my frinds that are here, I will hide nothing from you, but declare point by point how I behaved myelf, both in making and taking my philtre. “ If thou wilt undertand,” aith Albert, “ the ways of birds or of beats, take two in thy company, and upon Simon and Judes day, early in the morning, get thee with hounds into a certain wood, and the firt beat that thou meetet take and prepare with the heart of a fox, and thou halt have thy purpoe ; and whooever thou kied hall undertand them as well as thy elf.”
      Becaue his writing here is doubtful, becaue he aith, “ quiddam nemus, a certain wood,” and becaue I know three men (not many years pat) which while they went about this hunting were o frayed, / p.46 / whether with an evil pirit or with their own imagination I can not tell, but home they came with their hair tanding on an end, and ome have been the wore ever ince, and their hounds likewie. And eeing it was o long to St. Judas day, therfore I determined not to hunt at all ; but conjecturing that the beat that they hould take was an hedghog (which at that time of the year goeth mot abroad), and knowing by reaon that the fleh therof was by nature full of natural heat, and therfore the principal parts being eaten mut needs expule gros matters and ubtil the brain, by the like power it engendereth fine blood and helpeth much both againt the gout and the cramp, I got me forth to wards St. Johns Wood, wheras not two days before I had een one, and ee the lucky and unlucky chance. By the way as I went I met with hunters who had that morning killed a fox and three hares, who, I thank them, gave me an hare and the foxes whole body (except the cae), and ix mart lahes with a lip, becaue (wherin I did mean / p.47 / no harm) I aked them if they had een any where an hedghog that morning ; and howoever my tale is otherwie long, I would how you my mind of thee wicked obervations of foolih hunters, for they be like as me eemeth to the papits, which for peaking of good and true words punih good and honet men. Are not apes, owls, cuckoos, bears, and urchins Gods good creatures ? why then is it not lawful to name them ? If they ay it bringeth ill luck in the game, then are they unlucky, idolitrical, micreant infidels, and have no true belief in Gods providence, I behrew their upertitious hearts, for my buttocks did bear the burthen of their mibelief, and yet I thank them again for the fox and the hare which they gave me ; for with the two hounds at my girdle, I went a hunting till, indeed, under an hedge, in a hole of the earth, by the root of an hollow tree, I found an hedghog with a bundle of crabs about him, whom I killed traight with my knife, aying, “ Shane wahmelt gorgona fifcud,” and with my other beats hung him at my / p.48 / girdle, and came homeward as fat as I could hie. But when I came in the cloe beides Ilington, commonly called St. Johns field, a kite, belike very hungry, pyed at my back the kinles fox, and thinking to have had a morel trake at it, and that o eagerly, that one of his claws was entered o deep that before he could looe it I drew out my knife and killed him, aying, “ Samot heley lutthoon ficud,” and to make up the mes brought him home with the ret. And ere I had layed them out of my hand come Thomas (whom you heard of before), and brought me a cat, which for doing evil turns they had that morning caught in a nare et for her two days before, which for the kinners ake being lain was o exceeding fat that after I had taken ome of the greae, the inwards and the head, to make (as I made him believe) a medicine for the gout, they parboyled the ret, and at night (croted and farred with good herbs) did eat it up every morel, and was as good meat as was or could be eaten. But now mark, when Thomas / p.49 / was departed with his cat, I hut my chamber door to me and flayed my urchin, wihing oft for D. Nicholas or ome other expert phiition to make the diection for the better knowledge of the anatomy, the fleh I wahed clean and put it in a pot and with white coin Melliopoholus or Motim, commonly called balam, roemary water, being four parts of the firt and two of the econd ; I made a broth and et it on a fire and lighted it, itting it on a limbeck, with a glas at the end, near the mouth of the pot, to receive the water that ditilled from it, in the eething wherof I had a pint of a bottle of wine which I put in the pot, then, becaue it was about the oltitium . . . . . . and that in confections the hours of the planets for the better operation mut be oberved, I tarried till ten a clock before dinner what time Mercury began his lucky reign, and then I took a peice of the cats liver, a peice of the kidneys, a peice of the milt, and the whole heart, the foxes heart and the lights, the hares brain, the kites maw, and the urchins kidneys ; all / p.50 / thee I beat in a mortar untill it were mall, and then made a cake of it and baked it upon a whole tone until it was dry like bread. And while this was baking I took even parts of the cats greae, as much of her brain, and five hairs of her beard, three black and two grey, three parts of the foxes greae, as much of the brain, with the hooves of his left feet, the like portion of the urchins greece and brain with his tones, all the kites brain with all the marrow of her bones, the juice of her heart, her upper beak, and the middle claw of her left foot, the fat of the hares kidneys, and the juice of his right houlder bone ; all thee things I pounded together in a mortar by the pace of an hour, and then I put in a cloth and hung it near a baon in the un, out of which dropped within four hours after about a half a point of oil, very fine and clear ; then took I the galls of all thee beats, and the kites too, and erved them likewie, keeping the licours that dropped from them. At twelve of the clock, what times the un began his platenical / p.51 / dominion, I went to dinner, but meat I eat none ave the boiled urchin, my bread was the cake mentioned before, my drink was the ditillation of the urchins broth, which was exceeding trong and pleaant in tate and avour. After that I had dined well, my head waxed o heavy that I could not chooe but leep, and that after I waked again, which was within an hour, my mouth and my noe purged exceedingly, uch yellow, white, and tawny matters as I never aw before, nor thought that any uch had been in mans body. When a pint of this gear was come forth, my rheum ceaed, and my hed and all my body was in exceeding good temper, and a thouand things which I had not thought in twenty years before came o frehly to my mind as if it had been then preently done, heard, or een ; wherby I perceived that my brain (chiefly the rule memorative) was marvellouly well purged, my imagination alo was o freh, that by and by I could how a probable reaon what, and in what ort, and upon what matter everything which I had taken / p.52 / wrought, and the caue why, than to be occupied after my leep, I cat away the carkas of the fox and of the kite, with all the garbage both of them and the ret, aving the tounges and the ears, which were very nearary for my purpoe. And thus I prepared them,—I took all the ears and calded off the hair, then teeped them in a mortar, and when they were all a dry jelly I put to them rue, fennel, lowachtic, and leekblades of each an handfull, and pounced them afreh : then divided I all the matter into two equal parts, and made two little pillows and tuffed them therwith, and when Saturns dry hour of dominion approached, I fryed thee pillows in good oil olive and laid them hot to mine ears, to each ear one, and kept them there till nine a clock at night, which help exceedingly to comfort my undertanding powers ; but becaue as I perceived the cell perceptible of my brain intelligible was yet o gros by means that the filmy pannicle coming from dura mater made to troil opilations by engroing the pores and conduites imaginative, / p.53 / I deired to help that what this gargaritical fume whoe ubtill aertion is wonderful, I took the cats, the foxes, and the kites tounge and od them in wine well near to jelly, then I took them out of the wine and put them in a mortar, and added to them of new cats dung an ounce, of mutard eed, garlick, and pepper as much, and when they were with beating incorporated I made lozenges and trocikes therof.
      And at ix a clock at night, what time the uns dominion began again, I upped with the ret of the meat which I left at dinner ; and when Mercury's reign approached, which was within two hours after, drunk a great draft of my telled water, and anointed all my head over with oil before decribed, and with the water which came out of the galls I wahed mine eyes, and becaue as humour hould acend into my head by evaporacion of my veins through the chine bone, I took an ounce of alha kghi in powder, which I had for a like purpoe not two days afore bought at the potecaries, and therwith / p.54 / rubbed and chafed my back from the neck down to the middle, and heated in a fryingpan my pillows afreh and laid them to mine ears, and tied a kercher about my head, and with my loenges and trocikes in a box, I went out among the ervants, among whom was a hrewd boy, a very crackrope, that needs would know what was in my box ; and I to aue him after his aucines, called them precienciall pills, affirming that whom might eat one of them hould not only undertand wonders, but alo prophecy after them ; wherupon the boy was exceeding earnet in entreating me to give him one, and when at lat very loathly (as it eemed) I granted his requet ; he took a loenge and put it in his mouth and chewed it apace, by means wherof, when the fume acended, he began to pattle and pit, aying, “ By Gods bones it is a cats toorde.” At this the company laughed apace, and o did I too, veryfying it to be as he aid, and that he was a prophet ; but that he might not pew too much by imagination, I took a loenge in my mouth and / p.55 / kept it under my tongue, howing therby that it was not evil. While this patime endured me thought I heard one cry with a loud voice, “ What, Iegrim ! what, Iegrim ! ” and therfore I aked whoe name was Iegrim, aying that one did call him ; but they aid that they knew none of the name, nor heard any that did call. “ No,” quod I, for it called till ; “ hear you nobody ?” “ We hear nothing but a cat,” quod they, “ which meweth alone in the leads.” When I aw it was o indeed, and that I undertood what the cat aid, glad was I as any one alive, and taking my leave of them as though I would to bed traight, I went into my chamber ; becaue the houre of Saturnes cold dominion approached I put on my gown and got me privily to the place in which I had viewed the cats the night before ; and when I had ettled myelf where I might conveniently hear and ee all things done in the leads, where this cat cried till for Iegrim, I put into my two notrills two troiiques, and into my mouth two loenges, one above my / p.56 / tounge, the other under, and put off my left hoe becaue of Jupiters appropinquoion, and laid the fox tail under my foot ; and to hear the better I took off my pillows, which topped my ears, and then litened and viewed as attentively as I could ; but I warrant you the pellicils or filmy vein that lieth within the bottom of mine ear hole, from whence like veins carry the ound to the enes, was with this medicine in my pillows o purged and parched, or at leat dried, that the leat moving of the air, whether truck with breath or with living creatures, which we call voyces, or with the moving of dead, as winds, waters, trees, carts, falling of tones, &c. which are named noies, ounded o hrill in my head, by reverbrations of my final filmes, that the ound of them altogether was o diordered and montrous that I could dicern no one from other, ave only the harmony of the moving of the pheres which noie excelled all other as much both in pleaance and hril bignes of ound as the zodiac itelf urmounteth all other creatures in altitude of / p.57 / place, for in comparion of the baet of this noie, which is the moving of Saturn by means of this huge compas, the highet whitling of the wind, or any other organ pipes (whoe ounds I heard iued together,) appeared but a low bae, and yet was thoe an high treble to the voice of beats which as a mean the running of rivers was a tenor, and the boyling of the ea, and the catracts or gulf therof a goodly bae, and the ruhing, riing, and falling of the clouds a deep diapon. While I harkend to this broil, labouring to dicern both voices and noies a undre, I had uch a mixture as I think was never in Chaucer's “ Houe of Fame,” for there was nothing within an hundred mile of me down on my ide (for from o far but o faither the air may come becaue of obliquacion,) but I heard it as well as if I had been by it, and dicern all voices, but by means of noies undertood none. Lord, what a doo women made in their beds ; ome colding, ome laughing, ome inging to their ucking children, which made a woeful noie with their / p.58 / continual crying, and one hrewd wife, a great way off (I think at St. Albans), called her huband cuckold a loud and hrilly that I heard that plain, and would fain have heard the ret, but could not by no means for barking of dogs, grunting of hogs, wailing of cats, rumbling of rats, gagling of geez, humming of bees, rouing of bucks, gagling of ducks, inging of wains, ringing of panns, crowing of cocks, owing of ockes, cackling of hens, crapling of pens, heeping of mice, trulling of dice, curling of frogs and todes in the bogs, churking of crickets, hutting of wickets, critching of owls, fluttering of fowls, routing of knaves, norting of laves, farting of churls, filing of girls, with many things els ; as ringing of bells, counting of coins, mounting of groins, whipering of lovers, pringling of plovers, groning and pinning, baking and brewing, cratching and rubbing, watching and hrugging, with uch a ort of commixed noies as could adaf any body to have heard, much more me, eeing that the peanieles of my ears were with my medicine / p.59 / made o fine and tiff, and that by the temperate heat of the things therin, that like a tabbar dried before the fire, or els a lute tring by heat hrunk, never they were incomparably amended in receiving and yeilding the hrilnes of any touching ounds. While I was earnetly harkening (as I aid) to hear the women, minding nothing els, the greatet bell in St. Botolph teeple, which is hard by, was tolled for ome rich lady that then lay in paing, the ound therof came with uch a rumble into mine ear, that I thought all the devils in hell had broken looe, and where come about me, and was o afraid therwith that when I felt the foxtail under my feet (which through fear I had forgot) I deemed it had been the devil indeed ; and therfore I cried as loud as ever I could, “ The devil, the devil !” But when ome of the fellows, raied with my noie, had ought me in my chamber and found me not there, they went eeking about, calling to one another, “ Where is he ? I cannot find M. Streamer.” Which noie and tir of them was o great in mine ears, / p.60 / and paing much common ound, that I thought they had been devils indeed which ought and aked for me ; therfore I crept cloe into a corner and hid me, aying many good prayers to ave me from them ; and becaue that noie was o terrible that I could not abide it, I thought bet to top mine ears, thinking therby I hould be the les afraid. And as I was there about, a crow, which belike was nodding aleep in the chimney top, fell down into the chimney over my head, when fluttering in the fall made uch a noie that when I felt his feet over my head I thought then the devil had he come indeed and eized upon me ; and when I cat up my head to ave me, and therwith touched him, he called me knave in his tounge after uch a ort that I wooned for fear, and by that I was come to myelf again he was flown from me into the chamber roof, and there he at all night. Then took I my pillows to top mine ears, for the rabble that the ervants made I took for the devil, it was o great and hrill, and I had no ooner put them / p.61 / on but by and by I heard it was the ervants which ought for me, and that I was deceived through my clearnes of hearing. For the bell which put me in all this fear (for which I never loved bells ince) tolled till, and I perceived well enough what it was ; and eeing that the ervants would not leave calling and eeking till they found me, I went down to them and fained to them that a cat had been in my chamber and frayed me, wherupon they went to bed again, and I to my old place.

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THE THIRD PART OF

MAISTRE STREAMERS ORATION.

Y this time waning Cynthia come which the day before had filled her growing horns, was upon our hemiphere, and frehly yeilded forth her brother light, which the reverbration of Thetis trembling face, now full by means of pring, had fully cat upon her ; wherof he mut needs loe every day more and more, by means the rap abaing Thetis ullen face would make her to cat beyond her thoe raides which before the full the pring had caue her to throw hort, like as with a chrytall glas a man may by the placing of it either high or low o cat the un or a candle light after any round / p.63 / glas of water, that it hall make the light therof, both in waxing and waning, to counterfeit the moon. For you hall undertand, chiefly you Maitre Willet, that are my lords atronomer, that all our ancetors have failed in knowledge of natural caues, for it is not the moon that caueth the ea to ebb and flow, neither to rap and pring, but the rapping and pringing of the ea is the caue of the moons both waxing and waning. For the moon light is nothing ave the hining of the un cat into the element by the oppoition of the ea ; as alo the tars are nothing els but the un light reflected upon the face of rivers and cat upon the chrytalline heaven, which becaue rivers always keep like coure, therfore are the tars always of one bignes ; as for the coure of the tars from eat to wet, is natural by means of the uns like moving, but in that they acend and decend, that is, ometimes come northward and ometimes go outhward, that is caued alo by the uns being either on this ide or on the other ide likenlightical. The like reaon followeth / p.64 / for the poles not moving, and that is the ituation of thoe rivers or dead eas which cat them, and the roundnes and eg form of the firmament. But to let this pas, which in my book of heaven and hell, hall plainly not only declared, but both by reaon and expoition proved, I will come again to my matter when Cythera, I ay, as following her brothers teps, looked in at my chamber window and aw me neither in my bed nor at my book, he hied me apace into the outh, and at a little hole in the houe roof peeped in and aw me where I was et to hearken to the cats, and by this time all the cats which were there the night before were aembled, with many others, only the great grey one excepted, unto whom, as oon as he was come, all the ret did their behiance, as they did the night before. And when he was et thus he began in his language, which I undertood as well as if he had poken Englih.
      “ A my dear friends and fellows, you may ay I have been a linguer this night, and that I / p.65 / have tarried long, but you mut pardon me for I could come no ooner ; for when this evening I went into an ambry, where was much good meat, to teal my upper, there came a wench, not thinking I had been there, and chopped the lid down, by means wherof I had much to do to get forth ; alo in the way as I came hither, over the houe tops in the gutter, were thieves breaking in at a window, who frayed me o that I lot my way and fell down into the treet, and had much to do to ecape the dogs ; but eeing that by the grace of Hagat and Hag I am now come, although I perceive by the tail of the great bear and by alhabar, which are now omewhat outhward, that the fifth hour of night approacheth, yet eeing this is the lat night of my charge, and that to-morrow I mut again to my lord Crammoloch,” (at this all the cats pread along their tales, and cried, “ Hagat and Hag, ave him !”) “ Go to now, good Mouelier,” quoth he, “ and that time which my mifortune hath lot, recover again by the briefnes of / p.66 / thy talk.” “ I will, my lord,” quoth Moulyer, which is the cat which as I told you tood before the great cat the night before continually mewing, who, in her language, after that with her tail he had made curtey, hrunk in her neck and aid, “ Where as by virtue of your commiion from my lord Crammoloch (whoe life Hagat and Hag defend), who by inheritance and our free election enjoyeth the empire of his traitourouly murthered mother, the goddes Gremolochini, you his grieffen and chief counellor, my lord Griard, with Iegrim and Polinoers your aitants ; upon a complaint put up in your high dees by that fale accuer Catchrat, (who beareth me malice becaue I refued his lecheriouly offered delights,) have caued me in . . . . . of myelf before this honourable company to declare my whole life ince the blind daies of my kitlinghood. You remember, I trut, how in the two nights paed I have declared my life for four years pace, wherin you perceive how I behaved me all that time ; wherfore, to begin where I left / p.67 / lat, ye hall undertand that my lord and lady, whoe lives I delivered unto you lat yeter night, left the city and went to dwell in the country and carried me with them ; and being thus trange I lot their houe, and with Birdhunt, my make, the gentlet in honet venery that ever I met with, went to a town where he dwelt, called Stratford either Stony upon Tine, or upon Avon, I do not well remember which, where I dwelt half a year. And this was in the time when preachers had leave to peak againt the mas, but it was not forbid untill half a year after. In this time I aw nothing worthy to certify my lord of ave this : my dame, with whom I dwelt, and her huband were both old, and therfore had to be turned from their rooted belief which they had in the mas, which caued divers young folk, chiefly their ons and a learned kinman of theirs, to be the more earnet to teach and peruade them ; and when they had almot brought the matter to a good point, I cannot tell how it chanced, but my dames ight failed her, and he was o ick that he kept / p.68 / her bed two days, wherfore he ent for the parih priet, her old godly father. And when all were voided the gotly chamber, ave I and they twoe, he told him how ick he was and how blind, o that he could ee nothing, and deired him to pray for her and give her good counell. To whom he aid thus, “ It is no marvel though you be ick and blind in body which uffer your oul willingly to be blinded, you end for me now, but why end you not for me when thee new hereticks teach you to leave the Catholick belief of Chrits fleh in the acrament ?’ ‘ Why, Sir,’ quoth he, ‘ I did end for you once, and when you came they poed you o with holy writ and aints writings, that you could ay nothing but call them hereticks, and that they had made the New Tetament themelves.’ ‘ Ye,’ quoth he, ‘ but did I not bid you take heed then, and told you how God would plague you ?’ ‘ Yes, good Sir,’ quoth he, ‘ you did ; and now, to my pain, find you too true a prophet ; but I beeech you forgive me and pray to God for me, and what / p.69 / oever you will teach me that will I believe unto the death.’ ‘ Well,’ quoth he, ‘ God refueth us inners that will repent, and, therfore, in any cae believe Chrits fleh, body, oul, and bone, is as it was born of our bleed Lady in the conecrated hote ; and ee that therfore you worhip it, pray, and offer to it, for by it many of your friends ouls may be brought out of purgatory, which thee new hereticks ay is no place at all, but when their ouls fire in it they hall tell me another tale ; and that you may know that all I ay is true, and that the mas can deliver ouls that trut in it from all manner ins, I will by and by ay you a mas that hall retore your ight and health.’ Then took he out of his boom a wafer cake and called for wine, and then, hutting the door unto him, received himelf in a urplice, and upon a table et before the bed he laid his porture, and therat he aid mas ; and when he came to the eleuion, he lifted up the cake and aid to my dame, which in two days afore aw nothing, ‘ Wipe thine eyes, thou inful woman, / p.70 / and look upon thy Maker.’   With that he lifted up herelf and aw the cake, and had her ight and helth as well as ever he had before. When mas was done he thanked God and him exceedingly, and he gave charge that he hould tell to no young folks how he was holpe, for his bihop had throughout the diocee forbidden them to ay or ing any mas, but commanded her that ecretly unto old honet men and women he hould at all time mot devoutly reheare it ; and by reaon of this miracle many are o confirmed in that belief that, although by a common law all maes upon penalty were ince forbid, divers have them privily and nightly aid in their chambers until this day.”
      “ Marry, Sir,” quoth Polinos, “ this was either a mighty miracle or els a michevious ubtelty of a magitical miniter, but ure if the priet by the magical art blinded her not afore, and o by like magical orcery cured her again, it were as good for us to hire him, or other priets at our delivery to ing a mas before our kitlings, that they might in / p.71 / their birth be delivered of their blindnes ; and ure if I hear the priet it hould cape me hard but I would have one litter of kittens in ome chamber where he ueth now to ay his privie night maes.” “ What need that,” quoth Mouelier, “ it would do them no good, for I myelf, upon like conideration, kittened ince in another mitris chamber of mine where a priet every day aid mas, but my kitlings aw nought the better, but rather the wore ; but when I heard that the lord with whom I went into the country would to London to dwell again, I kept the houe for a month before o well, that my lady when he went carried me with her ; and when I came to London again, I went in viitation to mine old acquaintance, and when I was great with kitling, becaue I would not be unfurnihed of a place to kitten in, I got in favour and houehold with an old gentlewoman, a widow, with whom I paed out this whole year. This woman got her living by boarding young gentlemen, for whom he kept always fair wenches in tore, for whoe ake / p.72 / he had the more rent ; and to tell you the truth of her trade it was fine and crafty, and not o dangerous as deceitful, for when he had oked from young gentlemen all they had then would he cat them off, except they fell to cheating ; wherfore many of them in the night time would go abroad, and bring the next morning home with them ometimes money, ometimes jewels—as rings and chains, ometimes apparel, and ometimes they would come again, curing their ill fortune, with nothing, ave, paadventure, dry blows or wet wounds ; but which ever they brought my dame would take it, and find the means either o to gage it o that he would never fetch it again, or els melt it and ell it to the goldmiths. And notwithtanding that he ueth thee wicked practices yet was he very holy and religious, and therfore, although that all images were forbidden, yet kept he one of our lady in her coffer, and every night, when every body were gone to bed, and none in her chamber but he and I, then would he fetch her out and et her upon her / p.73 / cup board, and light up two or three wax candles afore her, and then kneel down to her ometimes an whole hour, crying over her beads, and praying her to be good unto her, and to ave her and all her guets both from danger and hame, and promiing that then he would honour and erve her during her life. While I was with this woman I was always much cherihed and made of, for one night, while he was a praying, I would be playing with her beads, and always catch them as he let them fall, and would ometimes put my head in compas of them and run away with them about my neck, wherat many times he took great pleaure ; yea, and o did our lady too, for my dame would ay ometimes to her, ‘ Yea, bleed Lady, I know thou hearet me, by thy miling at my cat.’ And never did my dame do me any hurt ave once, and that I was even with her for, and that was thus : there was a gentleman, one of her boarders, much enamoured in the beauty of a merchant mans wife in the city, whom he could by no means prevail to / p.74 / atisfy his lut ; yea, when he made her great banquets, offered her rich apparell, and all kinds of jewels precious, which commonly women delight in, yea, and large ums of money, which corrupt even the gods themelves, yet could he by no means alter her mind, o much he eteemed her good name and honety ; wherfore, forced through deire of that which he could not but long for, and o much the more caue it was mot earnetly denied him, he brake his mind to my dame, and entreated her to aid him to win this young womans favour, and promied her for her labour whatever he would require. Wherupon my dame, which was taken for as honet as any in the city, found the means to deire the young woman to a dinner, and againt he hould come, my dame gave me a peice of a pudding, which he had filled full of mutard, which as oon as I had eaten wrought o in my head that it made my eyes run all the day after ; to mend this, he blew pepper in my noe to make me neee, and when the young wife was come, after that my / p.75 / dame had howed her all the commodotes of her houe (for women delight much to how forth what they have), they et them down together at the table, none ave only they two ; and while they were in goips talk about the behaviours of this woman and that, I came as I was accutomed and at by my dame, and when the young woman, hearing me cough and eeing me weep continually, aked what I ailed, my dame, who had tears at her commandment, ighed (and fallen as it were into a udden dumps), burt forth a weeping, and aid, ‘ In faith, mitres, I think I am the unfortunatet woman alive, upon whom God hath at once poured forth all his plagues, for my huband, the honetet man that lived, he hath taken from me, and with him mine heir and only on, the mot towardly young man that was alive ; and yet not atisfied therwith, lo here my only daughter, which, though I ay it, was as fair a woman and as fortunately married as any in this city, He hath (for her honety or cruelty I cannot tell whether) turned into this likenes, wherin / p.76 / he hath been above this two months continually weeping as you ee, and lamenting her mierable wretchednes.’   The young woman, atonihed at this tale, and crediting it by means of my dames lachrimable protetations and deep diimulation, aked her the more earnetly how and by what chance and for what caue, as he thought, he was o altered ? ‘ Ah,’ quoth my dame, ‘ as I aid before, I cannot tell what I hould think, whether excue my daughter and accue God, or ele blame her and acquit Him, for this my daughter, being, as I aid, fortunately married and o beloved of her huband and loving again to him, as now we both too late do and for ever I think hall rue, was loved exceedingly of another young man, who made great uite and labour unto her. But he (as I think all women hould), eteeming her honety and promie made to her huband the day of her marriage, refued till his deire ; but becaue he was importunate he came at lat and told me it. And I, thinking that I did well, charged her in any cae (which full oft ince I / p.77 / have repented) that he hall not conent unto him, but to hake him off with hrewd words and threatening anwers. She did o ; alas, alas, the while, and the young man, eeing none other boote, went home and fell ick, and loving o honetly and ecretly that he could make none other of his council, forpined and languihed upon his bed the pace of three days, receiving neither meat nor drink ; and then, perceiving his death to approach, he wrote a letter, which I have in my pure, and ent it by his boy to my daughter, if you can read you hall ee it, I cannot, but my daughter bet could very well and write too.’ Herewith my dame wept apace, and took the letter out of her pure and gave it this young woman, who read it in form following :—
      “ ‘ The nameles lover to the nameles beloved ; in whoe love ith he may not live, he only deireth licene to die. Cured be the woful time wherin mutual love firt mixed the mas of my mierable carcas. Cured be the hour that ever the fatal detinies have ought for me prevailed ; yea, cured / p.78 / be the unhappy houe, may I ay, in which I firt aw thoe paing eyes, which by inenible and unquenchible power inflaiming my heart to deire are o blend of mercy as will rather with rigour conume my life than view my grief with one drop of pity. I ue not to you, my dear unloving love, for any kind of grace the doubtful hope wherof depair hath long ince with the pouring howers of evil words utterly quenched ; but this much I deire, which alo by right me thinketh my faithful love hath well deerved, yet ith your fidelity in wedlock, which I can and mut needs praie as would to God I could not, will uffer my pined coure no longer to retain the breath, through cold cares wholly conumed, yet as the leat, which is alo an office of frindhip befor the gods merititious, come, viet him who, if aught might quench love, hould not love ; whoe mouth thee three days hath taken no food ; whoe eyes the like time have taken no ret ; whoe heart this three weeks was never merry ; whoe mind thee three months was / p.79 / never quiet ; whoe bed this even nights was never made ; and who, to be brief, in all parts o enfeebled that living he dieth, and dead while he liveth. And when this illy ghot hall leave this cruel and mierable prion, in recompence of his love, life, and death, let thoe white and tender hands of yours cloe up thoe open windows through which the uncomfortable light of your beauty hone firt into this heart. If you this refue to do, I beeech the gods immortal, to whom immediately I go, that as without any kind of either love or kindnes you had caued me to die, o that none other caught with your beauty do likewie perih. I beeech, I ay, the jut gods that either they change that honet tony heart, or els disfigure that fair miracles favour. Thus, for want of force either to endite or write any more, I take my leave, deiring you either to come and ee me die, or if I be dead before, to ee me honetly buiried.
      “ ‘ Yours unregarded alive,
                                                           “ ‘ G. S.’

/ p.80 /

      “ When the young woman had read this letter he took it again to my dame, and with much to doo to withhold her welling tears he aid, ‘ I am orry for your heavines, much more for this poor man's ; but what did he after he aw this letter ?’ ‘ Ah, quoth my dame, he eteemed it as he did his utes before—he ent him a rough anwer in writing, but never the boy came home with it, his mater was dead. Within two days after, my on-in-law, her huband, died uddenly ; and within two days after, as he at here with me lamenting his death, a voice cried out aloud, “ Ah, flinty heart, repent thy cruelty!” And immediatedly, oh extreme rigor, he was changed as you now ee her; wherupon I gather that though God would have us keep our faith to our hubands, yet rather than any other hould die for ourelves, we hould not make any concience to ave their lives ; for it fareth in this point as it doth in all other ; for as all extremities are vices, o is it a vice, as appeareth plainly by the punihment of my daughter, to be / p.81 / extreme in honety, chatity, or any other kind of virtue.’   This, with other talk of my dame, in the dinner-time, o unk into the young woman's mind that the ame afternoon he ent for the gentleman whom he had ert o contantly refued, and promied him that if he would appoint her an unupected place, he would be glad to meet him to fulfill all his lut, which he appointed to be the next day, at my dame's houe, where, when they were all aembled, I, minding to acquit my dame for giving me mutard, caught a quick moue, wherof my dame was always exceedingly afraid, and came with it under her clothes, and then let it go, which immediately croop up on her leg. But, Lord ! how he betirred her then ; how he cried out, and how pale he looked ; and I, to amend the matter, making as though I leaped to the moue, all to be cratch her thies and her belly, o that I dare ay he was not whole again in two months after ; and when the young woman to whom he hewed her pounced thies, aid I was / p.82 / an unnatural daughter to deal o with my mother, ‘ Nay, nay,’ quoth he, ‘ I cannot blame her, for it was through my counel he uffered all this orrow ; and yet, I dare ay, he did it againt her will, thinking to have caught the moue, which ele, I dare ay would have crept into my belly.’   With this means this innocent woman, otherwie invincible brought to conent to commit whoredom. Shortly after this young woman begged me of my dame, and to her I went and dwelled with her all that year. In which year, as all the cats in the parih can tell, I never diobeyed or trangreed our holy law in refuing the concupicenial company of any cat, nor the act of generation, although ome time it were more painful to me than pleaant, if it were offered in due and convenient time. Inded, I confes that I refued Catchrat and bit him, and cratch him, which our law forbiddeth ; for on a time this year when I was great with kitlings, which he of a proud tomach refued to help to get, although I earnetly wooed him therto, what / p.83 / time he loved o much his own daghter, Slickkin, that all others eemed vile in his ight, which alo eteemed him as much as he did the ret, that is, never a whit in this time. I ay when I was great with kitling I found him in a gutter eating a bat which he had caught that evening ; and as you know, not only we, but alo women in our cae do oft long for many things, o I then longed for a piece of the reremoue, and deired him, for aving of my kitten, to give me a morel, though it were but of the leather-like wing ; but he, like an unnatural ravenous churl, eat it all up, and would give me none, and, as men do now-a-days to their wives, he gave me bitter words, aying, we longed for wantones and not for any need. This grived me o ore, chiefly for the lack of that I longed for, that I was ick two days after, and had it not been for good dame Iegrim, who brought me a piece of a moue, and made me believe it was of a back, I had lot my burden by kittening two days before my time. When I was recovered and went abroad / p.84 / again, about three days, this cruel churl met me, and needs would have been doing with me, to whom when I had made anwer according to his deerts, and told him withal, which he might ee to by my belly, what cae I was in, tuh, there was no remedy (I think he had eaten avery), but for all that I could ay he would have his will. I eeing it, and that he would ravih me perforce, I cried out for help as loud as ever I could quail, and to defend myelf till uccour came, I cratcht and bit as hard as ever I could, and this notwithtanding, had not Iegrim and her on Lightfoot come the ooner, who both are here and can witnes, he would have marred me quite. Now whether I might in this cae refue him, and do as I did, without breach of our holy law, which forbideth us females to refue any males not exceeding the number of x in a night, judge you, my lords, to whom the interpretation of the laws belongeth.” “ Yes, urely,” quoth Griard ; “for in the iii year of the reign of Glacalon, at — — court, holden in Catwood, in the records / p.85 / they decreed upon that exception, forbidding any male in this cae to force any female, and that upon great penalties ; but to let this pas wherof we were atified in your purgacion the firt night, tell us how you behaved you with your new mitres, and that as briefly as you can for lo where corleons is almot plain wet, wherby we know the goblins hour approacheth.” “ After I was come to my young mitres,” quoth Mouelier, “ he made much of me, thinking that I had been my old dames daughter, and many tales he told therof to her goips. My mater, alo, made much of me, becaue I would take meat in my foot and therwith put it in my mouth and feed. In this houe dwelt an ungracious fellow who, delighting much in unhappy turns, on a time took four walnut hells and filled them full of oft pitch and put them upon my feet into cold water till the pitch was hardened, and then he let me go. But, Lord ! how trange it was for me to go in hoes, and how they vexed me ; for when I was upon any / p.86 / teep thing they made me lide and fall down ; wherfore all that afternoon, for anger that I could not get off my hoes, I hid me in a corner of the garret which was boarded, under which my mater and mitres lay ; and at night when they were all in bed, I pied a moue playing in the flower, and when I ran at her to catch her, my hoes made uch a noie upon the boards that it waked my mater, who was a man very fearful of pirits ; and when he with his ervants harkened well to the noie, which went pit pat, pit pat, as it had been the trampling of a hore, they waxed all afraid, and aid urely it had been the devil. And as one of them, an hardy fellow, even he that had hooed me, came up tairs to ee what it was, I wend downward to meet him, and made uch a rattling that when he aw my glitering eyes, he fell down backward and break his head, crying out, the devil ! the devil ! the devil ! which his mater and all the ret hearing, ran, naked as they were, into the treet, and cried the ame cry, wherupon the neighbours aroe and / p.87 / called up among other and old priet, who lamented much the lack of holy water, which they were forbidden to make. How be it, he went to the church, and took out of the font ome of the chritening water, and took his chalice and therin a wafer unconecrated, and put on a urplice and his tole about his neck, and fetched out of his chamber a piece of holy candle which he had kept two year, and herwith he came to the houe, and with his candle light in one hand, and a holy water prinkle in the other hand, and his chalice and wafer in ight of his boom, and a pot of font water at his girdle, up he came, praying, towards the garret, and all the people after him ; and when I aw this, and thinking I hould have een ome mas that night as many nights before in other places I had, I ran towards them, thinking to meet them. But when the priet heard me come, and by a glimping had een me, down he fell upon them that were behind him, and with his chalice hurt one, with his water-pot another, / p.88 / and his holy candle fell into another priets breech beneath, who, while the ret were bawoning me, was conjuring our maid at the tairs foot, and all to beinged him, for he was o afraid with the noie of the ret which fell that he had not the power to put it out. When I aw all this buines done I ran among them where they lay on heaps ; but uch a fear as they were all in then, I think was never een afore ; for the old priet, which was o tumbled among them that his face lay upon a boys bare ae, which belike was fallen headlong under him, was o atonihed that when the boy, which for fear behit himelf, had all to mired his face, he neither felt nor melt it, nor removed from him. Then went I to my dame which lay among the ret, God knoweth very madly, and o mewed and curled about her, that at lat he aid, ‘ I ween it be my cat ; ’ that hearing the knave that had hewed me, and calling to mind that ert he had forgot, aid it was o indeed and nothing ele. That hearing the priet in whoe holy breech the holy candle all / p.89 / this while lay burning, he took hate a grace, and before he was pied, roe up and took the candle in his hand, and looked upon me and all the company, and fell a laughing at the handome lying of his fellows face. The ret, hearing him, came every man to himelf, and aroe and looked upon me, and cured the knave which had hoed me, who would in no cae be acknowen of it ; this done they got hot water and diolved the pitch, and plucked off my hoes ; and then evry man, after they deired each other not to acknowne of this nights work, for hame, departed to their lodgings, and all our houehold went to bed again.” When all the cats, and I to, for company, had laughed at this apace, Mouelyn proceded, and aid, “ After this, about three quarters of a year which was at Whitun lat, I played another prank, and that was this : the gentleman who by mine old dames lying, and by my weeping, was accepted and retained of my mitris, came often home to our houe, and always in my maters abence was doing / p.90 / with my dame, wherfor deirious that my mater might know it, for they pent his goods o lavihly between them that notwithtanding his great trade of merchandize, they had, unweeting to him, almot undone him already, I ought how I might bewray them, which, as hap would, at the time remembered afore, came to pas this while this gentleman was doing with my dame, my mater came in o uddenly that he had no leiure to pluck up his hoe, but with them about his legs ran into a corner, behind the painted cloth, and there tood, I warrant you, as till as a moue. As oon as my mater came in his wife, according to her old wont, caught him about his neck and kied him, and devied many means to get him forth agein, but he, being weary, at down and called for his dinner ; and when he aw there was none other remedy he brought it him, which was a mes of pottage and piece of beef, wheras he and her franion had broke their fat with capons, hot venion, maribones, and all other kinds of / p.91 / dainties. I eeing this, and minding to how my mater how he was ordered, got behind the cloth, and, to make the man peak, I all to pawed him upon his bare legs and buttocks with my claws, and for all this he tood till and never moved ; but my mater heard me, and thinking I was catching a moue, bad my dame go help me, who knowing what bet was there, came to the cloth and called me away, aying, ‘ Come, pus ! come, pus !’ and cat me meat into the floor ; but I minding no other thing, and eeing that cratching could not move him, uddenly I leapt up and caught him by the genitals with my teeth, and bote o hard, that when he had retrained more than I thought any man could, at lat he cried out, and caught me by the neck, thinking to trangle me. My mater not melling but hearing uch a rat as was not wont to be about uch walls, came to the cloth and lift it up, and there found this bareart gentleman trangling me who had his tones in my mouth ; and when I aw my mater I leght go my hold, / p.92 / and the gentleman his, and away I ran immediately to the place where I now dwell, and never came there ince, o that how long they agreed among them I cannot tel, nor never durt go ee for fear of my life.
      “ Thus have I told you, my good lords, all things that have been done and happened through me, wherin you perceive my loyalty and obedience to all good laws, and how hamefully and falely I am accued for a trangreer ; and pray you as you have perceived o certify, my liege, great Cammoloch (whoe life both Hagat and Hag preerve), of my behaviour.” When Griard, Iegrim, and Poilnoes, the commiioners, had heard this declamation and requets of Mouelier, they prayed her much, and after they had commanded her with all the cats there to be on St. Catherine's day next enuing at Catnes, were (as he aid) Camoloch would hold his court, they departed. And I glad to have heard that I heard, and orry that I had not undertood what was aid the other two nights before, / p.93 / got me to my bed and lept a good. And the next morning when I went out into the garden, I heard a trange cat ak of our cat what Mouelier had done before the commioners thoe three nights, to whom my cat anwered that he had purged herelf of a crime that was layed to her by Catchrat, and declared her whole life for ix years pace, wherof in the firt two years, as he aid (aid he), he had five maters,—a priet, a baker, a lawyer, a broker, and a butcher, all whoe privy deceits which he had een he declared the firt night ; in the two years he had even maters,—a bihop, a knight, a poticary, a goldmith, an uurer, an alchemit, and a lord, whoe cruelty, tudy, craft, cunning, niggardnes, folly, want, and oppreion, he declared, the econd night wherin, their doing was notable ; becaue the knight, having a fair lady to his wife, gave his mind o much to his book that he eldom lay with her, this cat, pitying her mitres, and minding to fray him from lying alone, on a night when her mater lay from her got to his mouth / p.94 / and drew to his breath, that he almot tifled him. A like part he played with the uurer, who being rich and yet living mierably, and faining him poor, he got one day while his treaure chet tood open and hid her therin, wherof he, not knowing, locked her in it, and when at night he came thither again and heard one tirring there, and thinking it had been the devil, he called the priet and many other perons to come and help him to conjure, and when in their ight he opened his chet out leapt he, and they aw what riches he had, and ceaed him thereafter. As for what was done and aid yeternight, both of my lord Griards hard adventure and Moueliers betowing of her other two lat years, which is nothing in comparion of any of the other twos years before, I need not tell you for you were preent and heard it yourelf.” This told, lo I heard between thee two cats, and though I got me in and brake my fat with bread and butter, and dined at noon with common meat, which o repleted my head again, and my other powers in / p.95 / the firt digetion that by night time they were as gros as ever they were before ; for I harked at night to other two cats, which, as I perceived by their geture pake of the ame matter, I undertood never a word. So here have I told you all, chiefly you, my lord, a wonderful matter, and yet as incredible as it is wonderful ; notwithtanding, when I may have convenient time I will tell you other things which thee eyes of mine have een, and thee ears of mine have heard, and that of myteries o far paing this that all which I have aid now hall in comparion therof be nothing at all to be believed. In mean while I will pray you to help to get me ome money to convey me on my journey to Cathnes, for I have been going thither thee five years and never was able to perform my journey. When Mater Ferries perceived that he would evry man hut up his hop windows, which the foraid talk kept open two hours longer than they would have been.

[ p.96 ]

AN EXHORTATION.
KNOW thee things will eem marvellous to many men that cats hould undertand and peak, have a government among themelves and be obedient to their laws ; and were it not for the approved authority of the extatical authour of whom I heard it, I hould myelf be as doubtful as they : but eeing I knew the place and the perons with whom he talked of thee matters before he experienced his wonderful and trange confeions, I am the les doubtful of any truth therin. Wherfore eeing that he hath in his oration proved that cats do undertand us and mark our ecret doings, and o declare them among themelves that through help of the medicine by / p.97 / him decribed any man may, as he did, undertand them. I would councill all men to take heed of wickednes, and echue ecret ins and privy michevious counels, left, to their hame, all the world at length do hear therof. But if any man for doubt herof do put away his cat, then hall his o doing tetify his ecret naughty living, which he is more ahamed his cat hould ee then God and his angels, which ee, mark, and behold all mens cloet doings ; and that we may take profit by this declaration of Mater Streamers, let us o live, both openly and private, that neither our own cat, admitted to all our ecrets, be able to declare aught of us to the world ave what is laudable and honet ; nor the devils cat, which, wil we or nil we, eeth and writeth all our ill doings here, aught to lay againt us afore the face of God, who, not only with hame, but with everlating torments, will punih all in and wickednes. And ever when thou goet about anything call to mind this proverb, “ Beware the Cat,” not to tie up thy cat till thoe have done, but / p.98 / to ee that neither thine own nor the devils cat, which can not be tied up, find anything therin wherof to accue thee to thy hame.
      Thus doing thou cant not do amis, but hall have uch good report through the cats declamation, that thou halt in rememberance of Maiter Streamers oration labour, who giveth thee this warning, ing unto God this hymn of his making.

THE HYMN.

HO givet wit to whales, to apes, to owls, And kindly peech, to fih, to fleh, to          fowls ; And pirits to men in oul and body clean, To mark and know what other creaturs mean. Which hat given grace to Gregorie, no pope, No king, no lord, whoe treaures are this hope, But illy priet, which like a Streamer waves, In ghotly good depide of foolih knaves.

/ p.99 /

Which hat, I ay, given grace to him to know The coure of things above and here below ; With kill o great in langages and tounges, As never breathed from Mithridates lungs. To whom the hunter of birds, of mice, and rats, Did queak as plain as Kate that thomneth hats, By mean of whom is openly bewraid Such things as cloely were both done and aid. To him graunt, Lord, with healthy wealth and ret, Long life to us to unload his learned breat ; With fame o great to e'er live his grave, As none had ert nor any after have.

FINIS.

Imprinted at London by John Alde, Anno Domini 1570, and
are to be old by John Arnold at the North Doore of Pauls.

[ p.100 ]

[Written in pen:]

Ten Copies Only.  Number Ten.           J. O. H.

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